I haven't written a blog in quite a while, I have had a LOT going on in the past few months so here's a quick post to catch up.
As some of you know, I have been ill for about nine months now and have seen over twenty doctors, nurse practitioners, and specialists in Hawaii and all over Henderson and Las Vegas. Finally, I have officially been diagnosed with insulin resistance, pre-diabetes, polycystic ovarian disease, Hashimoto's disease, and fibromyalgia. That is a LOT to deal with, and it's been hard to get my head around since I will be living with most of these problems for the rest of my life. One of the specialists also told me that I have basically no immune system left, as all these problems have gone untreated and worn it completely out. I have been pretty overwhelmed but in a strange way, feel a slight sense of relief now that doctors have finally put a name (or names) to what problems I've been having with my health. At one point I was tested for Cushing's syndrome, a condition where a tumor grows on your pituitary gland near the brain, which I was terrified about. Thankfully, I do not have it, and I am now moving forward dealing with the health issues I know I do have.
I have drastically changed my diet, cutting out most carbs and sugars. I am following a low glycemic index diet and have lost 12lbs in less than a month. I am still finding it difficult to exercise frequently as my body is weak and I get tired extremely quickly, but it will be a long process and I accept that now.
I am starting my second semester of graduate school in a couple of weeks, and will be graduating in December of 2013. I wish it were this December, but I have never been one known for her patience. I'm glad I am furthering my education, but I doubt I will ever feel it necessary for me to complete a doctoral study.
That's about it for now, just wanted everyone to know I am still alive and kickin'! :)
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
What is going on here?
Today alone, I read in the news that:
- a grandmother shot her teenage grandson dead
- a baby in Brazil was decapitated by careless doctors during labor
- an acid attack that has left a woman permanently disfigured
- a man entered his ex-girlfriends home wearing an explosive vest and blew himself up
- a 14-year-old boy taken into custody after murdering his fathers' girlfriend
- a man arrested in Thailand after police discover his suitcase full of dead babies
My question is:
When did the world go crazy?
People are so full of ignorance, anger, hate, jealousy, greed, and depravity. I can't really remember the last time I saw "good" news. If there does happen to be a positive article, it is more than likely reporting on the positive outcome of a struggle that could have been prevented in the first place.
People don't know how to be happy for one another anymore. People don't know how to share, how to show forgiveness, how to be patient or open-minded. Everyone is out for his or herself, and it is becoming a sad, sad world to live in.
I know I am not alone when I say I have been hurt, let down, or angered by someone before. I know I have hurt people in the past but I can honestly say it has never been intentional. It seems that more often than not people are behaving in the most selfish, ignorant manner that other peoples' wellbeing or feelings doesn't even come into it.
Today I was "harassed" by a complete stranger after I wrote a simple "hello" to a friend I've known for years. At first I found it funny, but then I become a little saddened by it, and I suppose this event among other things have sparked this post. I am finding myself having less and less faith in people the more I interact with people or the more I hear about situations such as the ones I described in the beginning of this piece.
I am not an hateful person. Yes, I have been an angry person, and an uptight person, but I know I am in a much better place mentally than I have been in years. I consider myself a strong person and generally don't let little things get to me. But I think there comes a time when things add up and you have to sit back and wonder, what is going on?
I have been letdown by a variety of people in a variety of ways in the past few years, more so than I have throughout my entire life. I was bitter, and have worked my way through that feeling as best I can. But I have to say, I really don't know where to go from here. The world doesn't seem to be getting a better place, rather quite the opposite, and it truly is a discomforting thought.
- a grandmother shot her teenage grandson dead
- a baby in Brazil was decapitated by careless doctors during labor
- an acid attack that has left a woman permanently disfigured
- a man entered his ex-girlfriends home wearing an explosive vest and blew himself up
- a 14-year-old boy taken into custody after murdering his fathers' girlfriend
- a man arrested in Thailand after police discover his suitcase full of dead babies
My question is:
When did the world go crazy?
People are so full of ignorance, anger, hate, jealousy, greed, and depravity. I can't really remember the last time I saw "good" news. If there does happen to be a positive article, it is more than likely reporting on the positive outcome of a struggle that could have been prevented in the first place.
People don't know how to be happy for one another anymore. People don't know how to share, how to show forgiveness, how to be patient or open-minded. Everyone is out for his or herself, and it is becoming a sad, sad world to live in.
I know I am not alone when I say I have been hurt, let down, or angered by someone before. I know I have hurt people in the past but I can honestly say it has never been intentional. It seems that more often than not people are behaving in the most selfish, ignorant manner that other peoples' wellbeing or feelings doesn't even come into it.
Today I was "harassed" by a complete stranger after I wrote a simple "hello" to a friend I've known for years. At first I found it funny, but then I become a little saddened by it, and I suppose this event among other things have sparked this post. I am finding myself having less and less faith in people the more I interact with people or the more I hear about situations such as the ones I described in the beginning of this piece.
I am not an hateful person. Yes, I have been an angry person, and an uptight person, but I know I am in a much better place mentally than I have been in years. I consider myself a strong person and generally don't let little things get to me. But I think there comes a time when things add up and you have to sit back and wonder, what is going on?
I have been letdown by a variety of people in a variety of ways in the past few years, more so than I have throughout my entire life. I was bitter, and have worked my way through that feeling as best I can. But I have to say, I really don't know where to go from here. The world doesn't seem to be getting a better place, rather quite the opposite, and it truly is a discomforting thought.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Saturday night musings.
It's become a ritual of sorts that every Saturday night (or Sunday morning) I check the Postsecret blog and read the new secrets. I did this a few years ago and then forgot about it, and then went to a Postsecret event on campus during my undergrad and started checking the blog again.
Many a times I've considered sending in a secret but quickly dismissed the idea for a variety of reasons, from not being comfortable sharing my secrets (yes, even anonymously) to how would I decorate the card? Regardless, I've never sent in a secret and I'm not sure that I ever will. But reading other people's secrets puts my own into perspective.
Reading the secrets tonight I realized just how little we all know about one another. Yes, we have close family members, close friends, and so on, but do we ever really share all that we have to give? I know very few people know a lot about me, and I'm just more comfortable with it being that way. I have a very close family and a group of great friends, but I don't share nearly as much as I could, or maybe even should.
I don't appear to anyone shy, or reserved, as far as I'm aware. I'm the friendly, outgoing, outspoken one and that's how I believe most people see me. But between Jessica I know versus the Jessica I show is quite the discrepancy. I don't mean to say I am fake, I am intending on deceiving those around me, but I am a lot different on the inside than I am on the outside.
But, the more I think about it, I feel that a lot of people could probably say the same thing. I don't think we ever really KNOW someone, the way we know ourselves. I think it's a sad truth because I think the world would be a very different place if we were honest with others, but more importantly with ourselves.
If we took less time reflecting on ourselves and spent more time sharing ourselves with others, we may be able to gain the perspectives we so need to be comfortable with who we are, deep inside. Truly laying everything out on the table would hopefully bring a new closeness between people, so long as everyone recognized the need to care about those other than themselves.
Many a times I've considered sending in a secret but quickly dismissed the idea for a variety of reasons, from not being comfortable sharing my secrets (yes, even anonymously) to how would I decorate the card? Regardless, I've never sent in a secret and I'm not sure that I ever will. But reading other people's secrets puts my own into perspective.
Reading the secrets tonight I realized just how little we all know about one another. Yes, we have close family members, close friends, and so on, but do we ever really share all that we have to give? I know very few people know a lot about me, and I'm just more comfortable with it being that way. I have a very close family and a group of great friends, but I don't share nearly as much as I could, or maybe even should.
I don't appear to anyone shy, or reserved, as far as I'm aware. I'm the friendly, outgoing, outspoken one and that's how I believe most people see me. But between Jessica I know versus the Jessica I show is quite the discrepancy. I don't mean to say I am fake, I am intending on deceiving those around me, but I am a lot different on the inside than I am on the outside.
But, the more I think about it, I feel that a lot of people could probably say the same thing. I don't think we ever really KNOW someone, the way we know ourselves. I think it's a sad truth because I think the world would be a very different place if we were honest with others, but more importantly with ourselves.
If we took less time reflecting on ourselves and spent more time sharing ourselves with others, we may be able to gain the perspectives we so need to be comfortable with who we are, deep inside. Truly laying everything out on the table would hopefully bring a new closeness between people, so long as everyone recognized the need to care about those other than themselves.
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